Meditation: Making Peace with your Thoughts

I turn 42 this month. I like to reflect on my life thus far before I look forward to another year around the sun. 

As I get older (and hopefully wiser!), I am starting to feel a sense of contentment I have never felt before. I know that life has its ebbs and flows, and feeling happy right now doesn't mean I will feel that way in a few days, months or years. Such is life right?

What's different this time though is that I am enjoying riding the waves and look forward to problem solving the challenges that come my way. I am no longer always running from pain in pursuit of pleasure. 

I realised it was my meditation practice that helped me get to this point. I have slowly started to feel at peace with my thoughts (and myself).

Making peace with your thoughts fosters mental and emotional well-being by reducing stress and anxiety. By embracing a practice of acceptance and non-judgement, we create space for self-awareness and compassion, allowing us to navigate life's challenges with greater ease and resilience. 

Ultimately, it empowers us to live more authentically, connect more deeply with ourselves and others, and find greater fulfillment in our lives.

Doesn't this sound wonderful? 

Well, I am not quite there yet. Much like the rest of us, I get caught up in my own drama. My thoughts take over and I lose sight of what's important and lack clarity around my choices. 

It takes work to stay present and be aware of our habitual thought patterns.

It's much easier to take the path of least resistance and continue to act, think and feel the same way every day!

But if my short (sometimes long), haphazard meditation routine can make me feel pretty good, then imagine what a consistent daily practice can do! 

As a gift to myself, I wanted to establish a solid meditation routine this year.

So, I started a 29 Day Meditation Challenge with my HAPI Community for support and accountability. 

All we had to do was sit without any distractions for 10 minutes everyday.  

That's all.

20 days in, and the feedback has been amazing. 

I think most of us have got it wrong when it comes to meditation. 

I also think meditation is the most important investment for our future well-being. In a world full of distractions and constantly feeling like we are pulled in every direction, our ability to focus will be our greatest asset. 

Meditation can offer you that. 

My purpose with this challenge is to demystify meditation, make it more accessible and help my community (and I) establish a daily routine. 

What is Meditation, Really?

At its core, meditation is a practice of becoming familiar with yourself. It's about turning inward and observing your thoughts without judgment. Contrary to popular belief, meditation doesn't require you to transcend your thoughts or achieve a state of complete stillness. Instead, it's a journey of self-awareness and self-acceptance.

The biggest misconception that many still have about meditation is that you have to stop thinking. 

Nope, not true! Thoughts are a natural part of the human experience, and trying to forcibly stop them is like trying to hold back a tidal wave. Instead, meditation invites you to observe your thoughts without getting swept away by them.

The other misconception is that we have to 'feel' something such as peace, joy, no thoughts etc. Expectations ruins your meditation practice. Let go of the expectations or the idea that you 'should' feel a certain way, empty your mind or practice for hours.  

There is no right or wrong way to meditate. You have to simply sit. 

With this in mind, I offered my community different ways to explore meditation. I am sharing the breakdown of the 29 days in the hopes that it might spark your interest and get you started on your own journey. 

✨️ Days 1 to 5: RELEASE through journaling.

For the first 5 days, you will need a pencil/pen and a journal (or just a piece of paper). 
Set a timer on your phone for 10 mins and put it as far away from you so you are not tempted to reach for it and check how long its been 😊. No smart watches or any other devices near you that will be a distraction.
Now sit down and close your eyes.
You will have a lot of thoughts, feel distracted and restless. It is normal.
Each time you have a thought that you think is important or you need to remember, open your eyes and jot it down on the piece of paper.
Close your eyes again. Sit with the discomfort. DO NOT STOP YOUR MIND FROM THINKING.
Instead allow all the chatter to come up and out on to paper. Release. Release. Release. You can also have your eyes open and write the entire time. 
Lighten the load of your mind through writing.
It's not until we can let go of all the thoughts we hold onto, will we be able to quieten our mind.

✨️ Day 6 to 10: CULTIVATING FOCUS

If you can't focus, you will struggle with meditation.

If you can't focus, you will struggle with a lot of things really. Much of your daily life will operate on auto-pilot, you will switch tasks frequently, making you incapable of being present whether its at home, work or in your relationships. You feel overwhelmed a lot of the time and mentally exhausted. Sounds too familiar right?

It's only through training our minds to return again and again to the present moment, that we build the muscle of concentration. And as this muscle strengthens, so too does our capacity for meditation.

For this practice, we will focus our attention on our breath. Sit down close your eyes and pay attention to the flow of your breath in and out. When you breath in, count 1. When you breathe out, count 2. Keep going until you reach 10. Repeat over and over and over again for 10 mins.

If you lose focus and wander off, start counting from 1 again.

You can gradually increase the count to 20, 30. 40 and so on as your focus improves.

Take notice of how many times you lose focus. This will be a great way to gauge if your focus has improved over the next few weeks.

✨️ Day 11 to 15: LABEL THOUGHTS

I hope that by sitting with yourself daily, you are starting to realise *YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS*. Yes, there is constant mental chatter, but you can choose not to identify with it.
 
Here is another technique that can be helpful to detach from your thoughts.
 
As you become aware of thoughts, simply try to label them for what they are - one thought might be a memory , another might be a plan - perception - feeling of pain in your body , listening to sounds around you , so with each of these simple try to label it and let it pass.
 
Don't identify with your thoughts by saying I am having this thought. You simply say, "Ah, here is a thought about the past or a thought about doing." This brings a sense of detached awareness, and what this does in time is it trains your ability to be more objective to your mental chatter.
 
If you can start to notice your thoughts without the need to do anything about them, you will find the thought rises and gently dissolves on its own.
 
And then there are glimpses of silence....of nothing.

✨️ Days 16 to 20: OPEN AWARENESS

Open awareness meditation is a practice where you cultivate a non-reactive, spacious awareness of your present moment experience. Instead of focusing on a single object like the breath or watching your thoughts, you broaden your attention to include all sensations, thoughts, and emotions that arise without getting caught up in them.
 
To practice, close your eyes, and simply observe whatever arises in your mind and body without judgment or attachment. You can start by focusing on physical sensations like the breath or the feeling of your body sitting, then gradually expand your awareness to include sounds, thoughts, and emotions as they come and go. The key is to maintain a sense of openness and curiosity, allowing everything to be just as it is without trying to change or control anything.

Over time, this practice can help cultivate greater mindfulness, emotional resilience, and a deeper sense of presence in your daily life.

✨️ Days 21 to 29: FREE FLOW

This is the final stage of our meditation where you have the freedom to practice in any way that suits you.

My hope is that you have spent some time decluttering your mind and your focus is starting to improve.

Now allow yourself to sit and be. No stimulation. No expectations. Nothing. You can always revert back to journaling, focusing on your breath, labelling your thoughts or having an open awareness.

There will be days when your mind is too busy and journaling will work the best. Or there may be times when you just need to cultivate some focus, then let your breath be your guide.

Don't stop sitting. Learn to be ok with the discomfort.

Sit. Be. Let the magic unfold ✨️